Back to good

There’s a song by Matchbox Twenty that talks about the sadness you feel when you are in a room with the person you love but you know deep down they are thinking about somebody else. Facebook has a weird way of reminding us of good and bad memories by bringing up old picture posts from years ago, and this is exactly what happened to me today. A picture of myself and someone I was very close to popped up on my feed, a day that was full of mixed emotions.

They say the best way to know if your relationship and friendship would last is to travel together. In those times of uncertainty when you are faced with challenges, you get to see a person for who they really are and how they react in such situations. So a few years ago, I invited my best friend to join me on a trip to Disney World, a place of imagination and fun, where you get to leave all your worries behind and just be a kid again. It was a trip I was excited about. We had been best friends for years so this trip was not a test but an adventure I had wanted to do since I was 15 yrs old and I couldn’t think of anyone else I wanted to experience it with than my best friend.

Looking back now, I realise that it was the beginning of the end of our friendship. We had some really fun memorable moments, but there were times when I felt all alone even when he was by my side. I could sense he was there physically but his mind was miles away. There were times when I felt very sad and angry at myself for believing that he was my best friend and that he wanted to be there with me.

These days when I see couples or friends sitting at a table not talking to each other, where one or both are busy on their phone texting someone else or their minds are miles away, it makes me sad that they don’t realise the moment they are missing by being present and be with the person sitting right across from them.

But I am now back to good. The universe has a strange way of giving us signs, often we are too involved and emotional to acknowledge even if they are right in front of us. It’s the fear of being right, the fear that the gut feeling you have is not just a feeling but it’s the reality of things. Do I regret this trip? no, Disney World is amazing, it’s a world where you get to immerse yourself in a place that’s designed to make people happy, where for those few hours you get to forget all your worries and everyday struggles.

At the end of the night, the Magic Kingdom puts on a spectacular fireworks. That night as I looked up the sky, all I could think was “when you wish upon a star…”, in that moment I looked at him as he was smiling at the sky and I made myself believe that he was in the moment with me, even if it was just that one moment. It was beautiful and it was magical. What I took away from this experience is that sometimes it is best to be alone and happy, than together and feel lonely.

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